Back in my student days, I took a job selling insurance. On paper, it seemed straightforward—make calls, sell policies, repeat. But the reality was far more challenging. For every policy I sold, there were countless rejections. Each “no” was like a tiny dagger, a hit to my confidence. But something unexpected happened. I started to see those rejections not as failures, but as necessary steps in the process. Each one toughened me up, made me sharper, more resilient.

This wasn’t just about selling insurance—it was a life lesson. Rejection, I realized, is the world’s way of testing how much you really want something. It’s a filter, separating the half-hearted from the truly committed. The more I got rejected, the less it stung. I learned that rejection isn’t personal—it’s part of the game. You have to keep showing up, keep asking, keep pushing. It’s the only way to break through.

In a way, writing this blog is its own practice in rejection. Some of you will quickly scroll; a few might even mark it as spam. And that’s okay. It’s part of putting yourself out there, of saying something worth saying, and accepting that not everyone will resonate with it. But each time I hit send, I’m reminded that the value lies in the act of trying, in the courage to put yourself out there, regardless of the outcome.

This brings to mind a story from Harriet Lerner’s The Dance of Fear. Frank, a guy who was struggling to get back into dating after a divorce, was paralyzed by the fear of rejection. So, Lerner gave him an unusual assignment: go to a mall and ask 100 women out for coffee. The point wasn’t to get a yes—it was to experience rejection over and over until it lost its power. Frank did it, and by the end, something shifted in him. The fear was gone, replaced by a newfound freedom.

What I learned from selling insurance, and what Frank learned in that mall, is that rejection is a teacher. It’s there to show you where your limits are, and how to push beyond them. It’s not about avoiding the “no’s”—it’s about embracing them, learning from them, and using them to fuel your growth.

Here’s the truth: action is everything. You have to move, even when it’s uncomfortable, even when you’re scared. Rejection isn’t a dead end; it’s a detour, a way to refine your path. The more you risk, the more you grow. And if you’re not willing to risk feeling foolish, to invite fear in, you’ll never know what you’re truly capable of.

So, embrace the “no’s” because they’re not the end of the story—they’re just the beginning. Each one is a stepping stone, a way to build resilience, to get closer to what you really want. Because at the end of the day, the only real failure is not trying at all.wr